Raptors and Your Pitiful Survival Attempts..

Unfortunately, the Tech Star MKII is controlled by raptors. They eat you.

I taunt the raptors and run. (Do NOT taunt super-happy-fun raptor)

The Raptors find you and eat you bit by painful bit to keep you alive as long as possable.

I throw myself into a black hole.

Raptors exist outside Space and Time. The enter the singularity and you are eaten by infinitely dense raptors.

I eat myself.

Raptors are immune to logic paradoxes. You are killed and eaten (again)

I sit on the shoulders of a MK-IV Lamentor biomech (anyone who followed the rounded RP will know how stupid this is), which precedes to relentlessly shred raptors and everything else it sees. The biomech is also immune to the bubonic plague and all pathogen induced diseases.

A team of humans have joined the raptor side, and nukes the lamentor.

I infiltrate the team of humans and make them destroy the raptor army from the inside.

Strategion Daynel wrote:

A team of humans have joined the raptor side, and nukes the lamentor.

I infiltrate the team of humans and make them destroy the raptor army from the inside.

Silly boy, you know what happened last time someone nuked a lamentor

The raptors discover you, you are killed and eaten

I start eating raptors (after several vaccinations against diseases like the bubonic plague), after all, raptors are about the size of turkeys ( if we are talking about velociraptors)

You find yourself extremely allergic to raptor meat.

I start a raptor hunting, butchering and selling industry, earning lots of money because raptors ate all the turkeys and it's not too long until Christmas.

Raptors are toxic to humans, you die, along with everyone you sold raptor meat to, way to go for killing the human race jackass.

I grab a crowbar and start cracking heads

Your crowbar breaks upon your equipping of it and you are eaten by raptors that escaped one of the many installations of the Jurassic Park program.

I remain dead.

The Word Usage Nazi Raptors kill you for saying that in that way.

I build 77777777777777777777.8 giant hollow 500-mile thick titanium cubes, bury them, fill them with my clones, dig them up, kill the clones, make new clones, fill the cubes with sandwiches, release the clones into the universe, put a stolen Star Trek replicator into one of the cubes, go into that cube, and live happily in a 500 mile thick titanium cube.

You suffocate to death.

I hijack *insert vehicle here* and go to *supposedly safe location here*.

Raptors are in [insert mentioned vehicle here] or are already at [insert mentioned safe place here] and you are devoured.

I use [insert weapon here] to fight off [insert number of raptors here], then make my way to [insert safe place here]

The raptors go back in time and remove the bracket keys from existance, Resulting in you never being born, They also eat yoru caveman ancestors.

I hide on a tradestar that supplys dropcrates full of robots, clones, and various weapons to the planet.

*Insert physically impossible cause of death here*

I create *insert supposedly safe object here* with a replicator and hide.

_Shadowcat_ wrote:

The raptors go back in time and remove the bracket keys from existance, Resulting in you never being born, They also eat yoru caveman ancestors.

I hide on a tradestar that supplys dropcrates full of robots, clones, and various weapons to the planet.

Skynet, now under raptor control, takes over the robots, who proceed to kill your facehole.

I de-volve myself into the form of raptor that we once were, and hunt humans.

Raptors screw with Time-Travel and Evolution. They become mega-raptors, and eat the little false raptor that you are.

Tiel's replicator goes haywire and begins replicating millions of raptors. Rather than being eaten, you are squashed to death in your metal bawx.

I use (Noun) in order to (Verb describing action of safety), and then I proceed to (Verb) in a (Noun), which is very (Adjective describing safeguards)

The raptors deactivate the internet, You resulting bordom causes you to commit suicide, Where cosmic raptors eat your soul.

I go last hope style off a cliff in a Mustang with an Automatic extendedmag DesertEagle to my death.

You (noun), causing the (raptor action) which results in (form of death).

I go Asura's Wrath on them Raptors. Props if someone figures out the right counter to this.

Using super-science, the Raptors manage to extract all of the atoms that used to be you, reconstruct your body piece by piece, and then eat you.

I use the formula f(Raptor)=34X^5+SqRt(25*Raptor)*(Raptor/2) To prove that raptors are statistically impossible.

You accidentally prove the entirety of existence impossible, and the universe ceases to exist, way to go jackass.

I divide by zero, which combined by fens equation, causes a logic paradox which causes the universe to explode (again)

Big explosions yay!

The raptors survive the explosion and eat you all.

I remain dead.

Raptors resurrect you with some 115, you are killed and eaten

I grab a titanium reinforced crowbar and start cracking head(crab)s

Gordon Freeman takes his crowbar back from you and breaks your face in.

I become an all powerful god and wipe me from all databases, organic and mechanical, then undo my existence.

I am promoted to admin of the universe and perma-ban all the raptors to Banhell.