Raptors and Your Pitiful Survival Attempts..

The raptors gets help from super-intelligent alien raptors from the future, killing you and everyone else on Earth.

I set up a secret base inside the moon, where the raptors can't find me.

The raptors don't, but the spaceraptors do. You are eaten.

I set up a base deep inside the atmosphere of Jupiter. The pressure keeps it safe.

The incredibly dense Gas-Giant raptors find and eat you.

You don't post a survival attempt. You are eaten.

I go on a crusade with my personal genetically-trained spaceraptors, as we wreak havoc around the galaxy.

Your crusade goes as well as the last one, in other words, you are killed and eaten

I am a robot and therefore immune to raptors, and are of no interest to them

The robotic raptors are interested in you. you are dismantled for parts.

I ascend.

You descend by mistake, and are killed and eaten

I divide by zero squared (oh shi-)

You find out no-one ever carried the zero, Turns out the awnser is applesauce. You get eaten by roboraptors for solving it before them.

I summon a Shiva!

The Bureau of Usage of Indian Gods and/or Goddesses doesn't give you permission to summon the god/goddess of destruction, he/she is busy elsewhere.

I summon Saxton Hale.

As we have already established, raptors are immune to fictional characters, you are killed and eaten

I summon Satan

Irony intended

Satan forms in the body of a Raptor and harvests your soul. (Or programming)

I summon a CC Dreadnaught to protect me.

The dreadnought never arrives, you are kille sand eaten

I remove myself for. The universe (might have already tried this one but not sure, too lazy to check)

The universe hands you over to the raptors, because the universe is a raptor.


I give the raptors all the locations of all life that we are aware of, and a recipe for owl, along with 37 various herbs and spices.

The raptors are uninterested in your information and eats you with Sips' 13 different herbs and spices.

I cast RED MILES at THE UNIVERSE and destroy THE UNIVERSE while I escape to THE FURTHEST RING.

You fail, I can't tell you how because I have no idea what you just said but you simply fail. And are killed and eaten.

I develop immunity to raptors, don't ask how, I just do.

The raptors disregard your immunity and eat you anyways.

You didn't do anything, you are eaten.

I do something.

Your attempts to procreate with 'something' are futile and the raptors consume you.

I grab a replicator and make millions of sandwhiches that stuff the dinosaurs full until they explode out of gluttony.

Raptors ignore the sandwiches and eat you.

I knock a raptor out and eat it just as it wakes up, in the hopes that it will eat me slowly from the inside out. I also spray paint a mustache on the raptor, and tape a monocle onto its face, creating a classy raptor.

Gravity Raptor is not amused. You are eaten.

I invent sandwiches that make me incredibly buff for a short time. I use a replicator to infinitely reproduce and then consume them.

Your replicator breaks, You are then slowly pulled apart by raptors and eaten bit by bit.

I yell for Superman to come help me.

Superman does not come and you are eaten.

I do Fen.

The raptors eat your head off then the rest of your body.

I fight to the very end with Herobrine at my back.

Herobrine helps the raptors and they eat you.

I do a butterfly.

Vinyl wrote:

Superman does not come and you are eaten.

I do Fen.

Oooohohohoho noo, you did NOT just say that. If anything, you do NOT want to do that. I bite back.
Just sayin'.