Raptors and Your Pitiful Survival Attempts..

catsonmeth wrote:

I am promoted to admin of the universe and perma-ban all the raptors to Banhell.

The rules of this thread kill you before you can acheive that.

I hide behind Vinyl

_Shadowcat_ wrote:

catsonmeth wrote:

I am promoted to admin of the universe and perma-ban all the raptors to Banhell.

The rules of this thread kill you before you can acheive that.

I hide behind Vinyl

I behead you then stab myself in the torso, like so

You fail to hit anything critical, The raptors eat you.

I break the rules of logic and hide behind myself.

The raptors supersede logic and eat you.

I place myself in a secure mental asylum, hire raptors for rediculous amounts of money and meat to guard me and make sure I don't escape, but remain uneaten. I stay in the owl fetal position for my remaining 1500 years or so, in a padded cell.

Ok, I beat the Trials once, I can do it again!

ACH0225 wrote:

Ok, I beat the Trials once, I can do it again!

You fail to convince your peers and you are sentenced to death.

I Join the chaos god Malice and become a daemon prince.And raise the dead raptors to life to watch them devour more souls, forum the safety of the warp. Where i can die. But just come back a in another body.

The raptors find your other body, you are killed and eaten

I drop out of the universe, subsequently creating my own universe from the nothingness outside, becoming the god of my own universe, a creating my own laws of physics where raptors cannot exist

Raptors create their own universe and then merge theirs with yours, allowing you to be eaten in a universe of turmoil.


I provide extremely valuable information to the raptors, in exchange for my life.

It turns out they already knew this information. You are eaten.

I jump around in a shielded time machine, creating massive, universe-ending paradoxes. Safe from these, I float in the newly created non-universe, inside, effectively, the TARDIS.

The raptors park their TARDIS in yours and you are eaten.

My past self shoots me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me...

The raptors eat you not just because you are food and are tasty but because they hate everything that does not beleive the same as them.

I gladly offer myself to the raptors.

The Raptors eat you alive.

Try to kill as many as I can before killing myself.

The raptors double for every one you kill, which is one raptor. They then eat you.

I prepare a giant oven, basting, and various seasonings. I then invite all the raptors over for owl dinner, and cook myself beforehand.

Vinyl wrote:

The raptors park their TARDIS in yours and you are eaten.

My past self shoots me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me...

O.o

Commander Shane Kobialka wrote:

Vinyl wrote:

The raptors park their TARDIS in yours and you are eaten.

My past self shoots me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me in my head, killing me instantly, my corpse falls into a vat of super-anti-me, breaking the law of conservation of matter removing me from existence while past me walks up to where I stood and is shot by past me...

O.o

Yeah, that would be my response to raptors too.

You are still alive once the raptors come over, and they slowly and painfully slice you apart and eat you. ACHO.

Cthulu makes you go insane when you see him, and you are unable to rouse him. When you get back to the mainland, you think that a raptor is your wife, and proceed to hug it. You are painfully torn apart and eaten. KEON.

I cease to exist.

The raptors call on Allah to review you and you are eaten alive.

EmoTiel wrote:

The raptors call on Allah to review you and you are eaten alive.

You do nothing and are eaten alive.

I successfully summon Cthulhu.

You summon Cthulhu unsuccessfully while I summon Cthulu.

One does not simply summon Cthulu. He eats you for rousing him, then returns to his place.

I feed myself to a raptor.

The raptor throws up leaving little semi-digested fenway bits on the ground.

I summon an angry Vinyl! Dont ask how I got her angry, By the way you should run away.

The angry Vinyl is killed and eaten by raptors. You soon follow.

I welcome the raptors and praise them as our superiors!

A wild Angry Vinyl appears!
Angry Vinyl used SHOUT!
Fenway is KNOCKED OUT!
Raptors are KNOCKED OUT!
It's super effective!

I yell at the cat for summoning me.

I strategicly place a mirror behind you, You acidently yell into the mirror killing yourself.

Success! Everyone is knocked out! I choose, Run away before Vinyl Respawns!

Mirrors do not reflect sound idiot. I survive.

You narrowly avoid not getting eaten by raptors.