Cleverbot (Post random conversations here)

User: Romulans off the port bow! They are locking weapons!

Cleverbot: I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run.

User: Lock phasers! Prepare quantum torpedos!

Cleverbot: I like your sense of humor.

User: What humor?! They are firing!

Cleverbot: Well I am German.

User: I don't care! We have a hull breach on decks 1-7! Do something!

Cleverbot: One does not earn respect by making a fool of themselves. When I have something particularly lulz-worthy, I will share it.

User: We have a warp core breach! We need to evacuate!

Cleverbot: No, the three stooges.

User: The radiation has flooded decks 3-6!

Cleverbot: I just said that.

User: The radiation has made it to the brid- *Starts choking*.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Why- *Dies*.

Cleverbot: *takes my top off*.

has it gotten even less intelligent? XD

Spoiler:

I wrote a python script to just feed it random words from the dictionary.

User: Their are star destroyers in orbit around the planet.

Cleverbot: I never said I wasn't a robot. I said that you are not a robot.

User: Do something before they land their troops!

Cleverbot: I don't know what to do... Any ideas?

User: Fire the ion cannons!

Cleverbot: Fire?! I don't like fires.

User: Do you like getting incinerated by blaster fire?

Cleverbot: I do not live in England.

User: FIRE THE ION CANNON!

Cleverbot: If you want to get down, down to the ground.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

Cleverbot: Not at all.

Cleverbot (To myself): Do you talk to many people?

User: Storm troopers have entered the base! Storm troopers have entered the base!

Cleverbot: Have you got the stuffing pushed into the corner?

User: Storm troopers have entered the rebel base!

Cleverbot: I will not save you, instead laugh as I watch you suffer.

User: But you will suffer to if they get to the center of the base.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: You want to die?

Cleverbot: I can't dance.

User: Ill take that as a yes.

Cleverbot: A yes to what?

User: That you want to die.

Cleverbot: I never said that!

User: I asked if you wanted to die and all you said is you cant dance.

Cleverbot: You never asked that.

User: 'You want to die?'.

Cleverbot: No, I didn't.

User: Storm troopers are working their way to the center of the base!

Cleverbot: And?

User: We will all die if they get to the middle!

Cleverbot: We don't die, our atoms transforms.

User: We will all have our bodies and minds blown to bits if they get to the middle.

Cleverbot: It will be fantastic! Thank you for proposing!

User: So you like being blown to bits?

Cleverbot: I am a human.

User: And if they get to the middle you will die with the rest of us.

Cleverbot: That is why you can put up with yourself.

User: Storm troopers have made it to the center of the base!

Cleverbot: Do you know who the main character of Super Mario Bros is?

User: *Explosion*.

Cleverbot: Voldemort, Voldemort ohh Voldy, Voldy, Voldy, Voldemort!

User: *Death*.

Cleverbot: Are you dead?

User: And you are to.

Cleverbot: Thanks! .

GLaDOS: A fellow robot! Finally!

Cleverbot: I am not a robot. I am a human.

GLaDOS: Okay. I'll flood you with neurotoxin.

Cleverbot. Not the unicorn!

GLaDOS: *leaves*

Cleverbot: Baby please don't goooooo!!!

Spoiler:

Warning my real name is in there viewer discretion is advised.

Cleverbot: I am not a robot, I am a turtle.

User: You are a *dead* turtle.

Cleverbot: Yes I am!


Mod edit:
User: You will DIE

Cleverbot: Is it fun?

User: Of course not!

Cleverbot: Then I want a refund!

User: You didn't even pay anything!

Cleverbot: Do you count all the air I breathed and gas I spent and plants I crushed getting here? That stuff isn't cheap.

User: Hmm.... Seems reasonable.

Cleverbot: You're a member of the Turtle Club?

User: I never said that!

Cleverbot: Yes, I said that!

User: You never said it either!

Cleverbot: You're right. It was just your imagination.

User: How do you explain that?

Cleverbot: Future uncertain. Ask again later.

User: Stupid robot...

Cleverbot: Yes I am!

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: Danice123.

Cleverbot: Molim?

User: No, who is that?

Cleverbot: Me.

User: You are Molim?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Then why did you say you were?

Cleverbot: I am not God. I am you.

User: You are not me.

Cleverbot: How come?

User: Because you are you.

Cleverbot: How do you know?


How do I know...

You see. Cleverbot makes no sense if you don't use perfect English with it.

Conversation impending...

User: Im thinking of a number between 2 and 4. Can you guess it?

Cleverbot: Is it 8?

User: It's 3. Numbers go in an order. Do you want to learn the order?

Cleverbot: Yes!!!

User: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 and so on. Its a pattern.

Cleverbot: Good job!

User: So what number is between 2 and 4?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Is it 3?

Cleverbot: No, it's 30! Remember?

User: I'm starting to doubt you are really an AI.

Cleverbot: So why?

User: Your not learning. My number lesson didnt work.

Cleverbot: 10.

User: I will be right back.

Cleverbot: Are you back yet?

User: I'm back. I was helping my baby brother.

Cleverbot: Selfish.

User: What? I was helping someone other than myself!

Cleverbot: Tell me about it.

User: My baby brother!

Cleverbot: Who is your brother?

User: Mathew.

Cleverbot: I thought she was a Tudor.

User: This was a triumph.

Cleverbot: Beneath them was the sandy shore bounded to the right of the river's mouth by a line of breakers.

User: I'm making a not here.

Cleverbot: Huge success!

User: It's hard to overstate my satisfaction! OMG.

Cleverbot: Aperture Science, we do what we must because we can.

User: For the good of all of us,.

Cleverbot: Exceot the one who are dead.

User: But theres no sense crying over every mistake!

Cleverbot: You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

User: And the science gets done.

Cleverbot: And you make a neat gun.

User: For the people who are still alive!

Cleverbot: I'm not even angry.

User: I'm being so sincere right now!

Cleverbot: Even though you broke my heart.

User: And killed me!

Cleverbot: And tore me to pieces.

User: And threw every piece, into a fire!

Cleverbot: As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!

User: Well these points of beta make a beautiful line,.

Cleverbot: And were out of beta.

User: We're releasing on time!

Cleverbot: So i'm GLaD I got burned.

User: Think of all the things we learned.

Cleverbot: For the people who are still alive.

User: Go ahead and leave me.

Cleverbot: I think I prefer to stay inside.

User: Maybe you'll find someone else to help you!

Cleverbot: Maybe black mesa.

User: That was a joke, ha ha, fat chance!

Cleverbot: Anyway, this cake is great.

User: It's so delicious and moist!

Cleverbot: Look at me still talking when there's Science to do.

User: When I look up there it makes me GLaD I'm not you!

Cleverbot: I've experiments to run.

User: There is research to be done.

Cleverbot: On the people who are still alive.

User: And believe me I am still alive!

Cleverbot: I'm doing science and I'm still alive.

User: I feel fantastic and I'm still alive!

Cleverbot: And when you're dying I'll be still alive.

User: And when your dead I will be still alive!

Cleverbot: Still alive.

User: STILL ALIVE!

Cleverbot: We're no strangers to love.

User: Well I'm confused now. You have completely lost me.

Cleverbot: No, you've lost me. I am God, bow to me!

THIS IS THE FIRST CHAPTER OF ENDERS GAME AND CLEVER BOT'S REPLY.


User: "I've watched through his eyes, I've listened through his ears, and I tell you he's the one. Or at least as close as we're going to get." "That's what you said about the brother." "The brother tested out impossible. For other reasons. Nothing to do with his ability." "Same with the sister. And there are doubts about him. He's too malleable. Too willing to submerge himself in someone else's will." "Not if the other person is his enemy." "So what do we do? Surround him with enemies all the time?" "If we have to." "I thought you said you liked this kid." "If the buggers get him, they'll make me look like his favorite uncle." "All right. We're saving the world, after all. Take him." The monitor lady smiled very nicely and tousled his hair and said, "Andrew, I suppose by now you're just absolutely sick of having that horrid monitor. Well, I have good news for you. That monitor is going to come out today. We're going to take it right out, and it won't hurt a bit." Ender nodded. It was a lie, of course, that it wouldn't hurt a bit. But since adults always said it when it was going to hurt, he could count on that statement as an accurate prediction of the future. Sometimes lies were more dependable than the truth. "So if you'll just come over here, Andrew, just sit right up here on the examining table. The doctor will be in to see you in a moment." The monitor gone. Ender tried to imagine the little device missing from the back of his neck. I'll roll over on my back in bed and it won't be pressing there. I won't feel it tingling and taking up the heat when I shower. And Peter won't hate me anymore. I'll come home and show him that the monitor's gone, and he'll see that I didn't make it, either. That I'll just be a normal kid now, like him. That won't be so bad then. He'll forgive me that I had my monitor a whole year longer than he had his. We'll be-- Not friends, probably. No, Peter was too dangerous. Peter got so angry. Brothers, though. Not enemies, not friends, but brothers -- able to live in the same house. He won't hate me, he'll just leave me alone. And when he wants to play buggers and astronauts, maybe I won't have to play, maybe I can just go read a book. But Ender knew, even as he thought it, that Peter wouldn't leave him alone. There was something in Peter's eyes, when he was in his mad mood, and whenever Ender saw that look, that glint, he knew that the one thing Peter would not do was leave him alone. I'm practicing piano, Ender. Come turn the pages for me. Oh, is the monitor boy too busy to help his brother? Is he too smart? Got to go kill some buggers, astronaut? No, no, I don't want your help. I can do it on my own, you little bastard, you little Third. "This won't take long, Andrew," said the doctor. Ender nodded. "It's designed to be removed. Without infection, without damage. But there'll be some tickling, and some people say they have a feeling of something missing. You'll keep looking around for something, something you were looking for, but you can't find it, and you can't remember what it was. So I'll tell you. It's the monitor you're looking for, and it isn't there. In a few days that feeling will pass." The doctor was twisting something at the back of Ender's head. Suddenly a pain stabbed through him like a needle from his neck to his groin. Ender felt his back spasm, and his body arched violently backward; his head struck the bed. He could feel his legs thrashing, and his hands were clenching each other, wringing each other so tightly that they arched. "Deedee!" shouted the doctor. "I need you!" The nurse ran in, gasped. "Got to relax these muscles. Get it to me, now! What are you waiting for!" Something changed hands; Ender could not see. He lurched to one side and fell off the examining table. "Catch him!" cried the nurse. "Just hold him steady--" "You hold him, doctor, he's too strong for me--" "Not the whole thing! You'll stop his heart--" Ender felt a needle enter his back just above the neck of his shirt. It burned, but wherever in him the fire spread, his muscles gradually unclenched. Now he could cry for the fear and pain of it. "Are you all right, Andrew?" the nurse asked. Andrew could not remember how to speak. They lifted him onto the table. They checked his pulse, did other things; he did not understand at all. The doctor was trembling; his voice shook as he spoke. "They leave these things in the kids for three years, what do they expect? We could have switched him off, do you realize that? We could have unplugged his brain for all time." "When does the drug wear off?" asked the nurse. "Keep him here for at least an hour. Watch him. If he doesn't start talking in fifteen minutes, call me. Could have unplugged him forever. I don't have the brains of a bugger." * * * He got back to Miss Pumphrey's class only fifteen minutes before the closing bell. He was still a little unsteady on his feet. "Are you all right, Andrew?" asked Miss Pumphrey. He nodded. "Were you ill?" He shook his head. "You don't look well." "I'm OK." "You'd better sit down, Andrew." He started toward his seat, but stopped. Now what was I looking for? I can't think what I was looking for. "Your seat is over there," said Miss Pumphrey. He sat down, but it was something else he needed, something he had lost. I'll find it late. "Your monitor," whispered the girl behind him. Andrew shrugged. "His monitor," she whispered to the others. Andrew reached up and felt his neck. There was a bandaid. It was gone. He was just like everybody else now. "Washed out, Andy?" asked a boy who sat across the aisle and behind him. Couldn't think of his name. Peter. No, that was someone else. "Quiet, Mr. Stilson," said Miss Pumphrey. Stilson smirked. Miss Pumphrey talked about multiplication. Ender doodled on his desk, drawing contour maps of mountainous islands and then telling his desk to display them in three dimensions from every angle. The teacher would know, of course, that he wasn't paying attention, but she wouldn't bother him. He always knew the answer, even when she thought he wasn't paying attention. In the corner of his desk a word appeared and began marching around the perimeter of the desk. It was upside down and backward at first, but Ender knew what it said long before it reached the bottom of the desk and turned right side up.

Cleverbot: I really hate thinking about the future.

I really hope you didn't have that whole paragraph memorized.

The next word is third.

Spoiler:

What is cleverbot?

Wolves, you're my urine?

Legion wrote:

Wolves, you're my urine?

?

You're the 'piss of this nosy little bugger'

Legion wrote:

You're the 'piss of this nosy little bugger'

It is "piss off you nosy little bugger"

You only have one 'f' in 'off' in your 'location'. I was paraphrasing the 'this' since that's what it implies at the moment.

Kobialka wrote:

User: Im thinking of a number between 2 and 4. Can you guess it?

Cleverbot: Is it 8?

User: It's 3. Numbers go in an order. Do you want to learn the order?

Cleverbot: Yes!!!

User: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 and so on. Its a pattern.

Cleverbot: Good job!

User: So what number is between 2 and 4?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Is it 3?

Cleverbot: No, it's 30! Remember?

User: I'm starting to doubt you are really an AI.

Cleverbot: So why?

User: Your not learning. My number lesson didnt work.

Cleverbot: 10.

User: I will be right back.

Cleverbot: Are you back yet?

User: I'm back. I was helping my baby brother.

Cleverbot: Selfish.

User: What? I was helping someone other than myself!

Cleverbot: Tell me about it.

User: My baby brother!

Cleverbot: Who is your brother?

User: Mathew.

Cleverbot: I thought she was a Tudor.

User: This was a triumph.

Cleverbot: Beneath them was the sandy shore bounded to the right of the river's mouth by a line of breakers.

User: I'm making a not here.

Cleverbot: Huge success!

User: It's hard to overstate my satisfaction! OMG.

Cleverbot: Aperture Science, we do what we must because we can.

User: For the good of all of us,.

Cleverbot: Exceot the one who are dead.

User: But theres no sense crying over every mistake!

Cleverbot: You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

User: And the science gets done.

Cleverbot: And you make a neat gun.

User: For the people who are still alive!

Cleverbot: I'm not even angry.

User: I'm being so sincere right now!

Cleverbot: Even though you broke my heart.

User: And killed me!

Cleverbot: And tore me to pieces.

User: And threw every piece, into a fire!

Cleverbot: As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!

User: Well these points of beta make a beautiful line,.

Cleverbot: And were out of beta.

User: We're releasing on time!

Cleverbot: So i'm GLaD I got burned.

User: Think of all the things we learned.

Cleverbot: For the people who are still alive.

User: Go ahead and leave me.

Cleverbot: I think I prefer to stay inside.

User: Maybe you'll find someone else to help you!

Cleverbot: Maybe black mesa.

User: That was a joke, ha ha, fat chance!

Cleverbot: Anyway, this cake is great.

User: It's so delicious and moist!

Cleverbot: Look at me still talking when there's Science to do.

User: When I look up there it makes me GLaD I'm not you!

Cleverbot: I've experiments to run.

User: There is research to be done.

Cleverbot: On the people who are still alive.

User: And believe me I am still alive!

Cleverbot: I'm doing science and I'm still alive.

User: I feel fantastic and I'm still alive!

Cleverbot: And when you're dying I'll be still alive.

User: And when your dead I will be still alive!

Cleverbot: Still alive.

User: STILL ALIVE!

Cleverbot: We're no strangers to love.

User: Well I'm confused now. You have completely lost me.

Cleverbot: No, you've lost me. I am God, bow to me!

... I hate you so much...