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 So A Neat Comic

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Should I Make More?
Yes
31%
 31% [ 4 ]
No
15%
 15% [ 2 ]
If You Improve Them, Yes
54%
 54% [ 7 ]
Other (Post Below)
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 13
 

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Joel
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PostSubject: So A Neat Comic   Wed Aug 14, 2013 5:55 am

I was bored at like 10:30 PM (it's almost 3:00 AM now) and decided to start a comic series, I'm calling it Memoriam. Let me know what you think and for once I welcome your harsh criticism with open eyes and mind (unless it has to do with the unresized frame or the misplaced 'c' in the title, that was entirely my fault and am aware of it).

Spoiler:
 
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Wed Aug 14, 2013 7:58 am

Well I don't know, it feels sort of empty, as if too large chucks of the plot are missing. Also you maybe tried to make me feel something towards the protagonist or the squad but if they just refer to each other by numbers it is hard to feel something. In general it is hard to feel something if that something hides it's face all the time, it alienates that person and unless you add powerful character to that person it will be hard to identify with that character. Also you feel like you are thrown into that place without knowing crucial things about that universe. As for the characters themselves they don't behave in a believable manner which also detaches you from the story. In general it is hard to say anything about that because it was too short.

Also late night might not be the best time to do things, when you do them while you're tired you end up with not as good results.


Last edited by Iv121 on Wed Aug 14, 2013 9:17 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Wed Aug 14, 2013 8:05 am

Iv121 wrote:
In general it is hard to feel something if that something hides it's face all the time
*ahem* master chief *ahem*

As for everything else, I agree with Iv.
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Wed Aug 14, 2013 9:16 am

Well you didn't quite feel for master chief, he is there to murder after all, his relation with a comp AI was an exception more due to Cortana being a dominant character. thank god master chief speaks at least, try feel something for Gordon Freeman and that guy doesn't even wear a mask Razz
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Wed Aug 14, 2013 12:03 pm

Dialogue bubbles are intrusive, lose the color and just go with generic white and black. Other than that, better story than anything else outputted by this community.
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Wed Aug 14, 2013 12:21 pm

Not bad considering there is actually no story here so far Razz , though the colors are a good point.
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Joel
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Wed Aug 14, 2013 2:59 pm

Me Responding To Your Feedback (The One You WANT To Read):
 

Me Getting Defensive (The One You DON'T Want To Read):
 
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MercurySteam
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Wed Aug 14, 2013 3:59 pm

Bungie fucked up with Reach and 343 screwed the franchise even more with H4. That's all.
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Wed Aug 14, 2013 4:46 pm

Well I tried to read your passage but I couldn’t because that was too much text together, I lost where I read and generally hard to read that, could you break it into pars and maybe bigger spacing pls ? I should really start doing it in my story too but t least I break it into pars.
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Wed Aug 14, 2013 5:08 pm

@Iv Which one? The one labeled "The One You WANT To Read" or the one labeled "The One You DON'T Want To Read"?

On a side note, I tried a new speech bubble style on the second one. Let me know if I should keep it like this or try something else.
(The specific title's font is different every edition.) (I am aware of the mislinked dialogue, it will be fixed in the proper release.)
Scorched Prerelease:
 
(This post is brought to you by GIMP crashing)
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Wed Aug 14, 2013 5:43 pm

The big one.
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Wed Aug 14, 2013 6:08 pm

@Iv "The Big One" is "The One You DON'T Want To Read" and it was labeled as such for a purpose. Plus it contains plot points.

Scorched Part 1 Release:
 

Sneak Peak of Part 2:
 
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Thu Aug 15, 2013 2:57 am

Starting to look better, but still no real story as far as I can see.
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Thu Aug 15, 2013 9:43 am

These other fonts are just either hard or annoying to read, stick to one easy to read font. As for the contents it still feels cut out and too short, maybe you should collect more pictures together before posting them.
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Thu Aug 15, 2013 10:44 am

You may want to try Trebuchet MS, which happens to be my preferred font.
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Thu Aug 15, 2013 1:04 pm

Comic sans or GTFO
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Thu Aug 15, 2013 1:49 pm

Daynel wrote:
Starting to look better, but still no real story as far as I can see.
Still conveyed better than any other story created by this community.
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Thu Aug 15, 2013 2:26 pm

Yea yea we know your hatred speeches Tiel, all that was said here so far fits in less than a paragraph, by lying to Vinyl just to advance your own positions you will only ruin the comic, better tell the truth. Even though comics are much more short and visualized you still need to make them of some size in order to convey a good story, again try bunching up more pictures together, it will take longer but it will be worth it as otherwise you just won't have enough space to convey your story
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Thu Aug 15, 2013 3:16 pm

Iv121 wrote:
Yea yea we know your hatred speeches Tiel, all that was said here so far fits in less than a paragraph, by lying to Vinyl just to advance your own positions you will only ruin the comic, better tell the truth. Even though comics are much more short and visualized you still need to make them of some size in order to convey a good story, again try bunching up more pictures together, it will take longer but it will be worth it as otherwise you just won't have enough space to convey your story
..the f**k are you going on about?
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Thu Aug 15, 2013 3:20 pm

Comrade Tiel wrote:
Iv121 wrote:
Yea yea we know your hatred speeches Tiel, all that was said here so far fits in less than a paragraph, by lying to Vinyl just to advance your own positions you will only ruin the comic, better tell the truth. Even though comics are much more short and visualized you still need to make them of some size in order to convey a good story, again try bunching up more pictures together, it will take longer but it will be worth it as otherwise you just won't have enough space to convey your story
..the f**k are you going on about?
Think he is saying you were being sarcastic, I think.
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Thu Aug 15, 2013 3:24 pm

Iv121 wrote:
by lying to Vinyl just to advance your own positions
Are you high or something?

_________________
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Thu Aug 15, 2013 4:25 pm

Thx LJS we all know which story he is implying lets not play it dumb ... Paranoid or not there is only one other story so yup and no I don't think that comic has a story yet because as I explained it was too short for that, no point in arguing on that .
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Thu Aug 15, 2013 4:28 pm

Iv121 wrote:
Thx LJS we all know which story he is implying lets not play it dumb ... Paranoid or not there is only one other story so yup and no I don't think that comic has a story yet because as I explained it was too short for that, no point in arguing on that .
I believe he was on about the RP, I've never seen Tiel have a problem with your story, I have seen him have problems with the RPs, they are technically stories just in case you though you were the only one who writes stories.
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Thu Aug 15, 2013 4:31 pm

Well if no harm is intended so be it no harm taken even if there was harm I won't take it but I don't like the idea of praising the weak spots of that creation. Also they are not exactly the same stories, for example the empire RP is more of a political game. As for the other RPs they weren't designed to be stories either , they are might be a collection of short tales linked together but they are hard to follow as whole, they are a lil different kind I believe
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PostSubject: Re: So A Neat Comic   Thu Aug 15, 2013 4:34 pm

The main one is, but ones like Grounded, Outpost 19 and the current one are more storylike.
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